Being a step-dad is both a rewarding experience and a trying one. There are many reasons for why I say this. First, it is rewarding to watch someone grow and become a unique individual with ideas of their own. It is sometimes these “ideas of their own” that make it also a trying experience.
My step-kids are now 11 and 14. I met them at 4 and 7. They were so out of control and fearless then. They are still somewhat out of control (they are kids after all), but they have a degree of fear, or maybe respect for possible consequences. They want so badly to become the adults they want to be. I keep telling them that when they do become adults, they will long for the days when they were just kids.
They seem to think that when they become adults, rules just magically go away. I laugh so hard when they say this!! Like when they say, “That’s not fair!!”. I just ask them, “Who keeps telling you that life is fair?”. I mean really….
I remember when I first started talking to them about my role in their life. I told them that I could never replace their Daddy, and that I wouldn’t even try. Having been a step-child myself, I understand that no one can replace your biological parents. The new person is an add on rather than a replacement. I try to encourage them to talk to their Daddy when he calls, and to call him when he doesn’t. I don’t want them to have any regrets.
Both kids have ADHD, and the oldest has Asperger’s. You will hear me talk about them in the future. My co-worker tells me all the time I should write about them. (You know who you are). I could probably dedicate an entire blog site to them; about the things they do, say, and how I react to them. I will cut this one short, however. I want to give you a little at a time.